Friday, September 18, 2009

Think Pink

The volunteer opportunities that I found yesterday didn't strike my fancy. I mean, after all, shouldn't I do something I really WANT to do if I am going to volunteer my time? Selflessness is not my cup of tea right now. How pathetic am I? I should be ashamed but honestly, I just want to indulge in my world of make believe: I believe I am a princess.

This morning as I woke, the pink clouds in the sky beckoned to me as I laid in bed doing the usual snorts and yawns of dawn. The intensity of their color glowed like the pictures in the bible my mother used to study when I was a child.

I can recall waiting for her to put the book down so that I could turn the pages, seeking out the most enchanting pictures I could find. I wondered why back in bible days, as I would call it, everyone looked so beautiful and the sky had so many colors. Each page more lovely than the last, I would become lost in the opalescent wonderland. I'd glance at the gray text now and then but the thees and thous never held my interest for long. It was the visuals that took me on a journey and caught up in their beauty, I would make up my own bible story.

Today isn't much different. As the sun rose higher in the sky, the pink clouds became gray and a thick fog hovered on the horizon. I noticed the gray and took note of the fog but neither held my interest. I was too enamored with the memory of the beautiful pinks I had witnessed at sunrise. I made up a story about how my day would unfold and how I would feel. I saw sunshine and blue sky and bright, happy colors in my mind.

Sure enough I spent the morning cleaning the kitchen and unwrapping some colorful painted tiles; works of art I purchased earlier this year. I hung them up and watched the room come alive. I could have sat around feeling sorry for myself today. The clouds did give me permission. But I decided to take my life in my own hands and create what I want. As a result I feel pretty good. I don't have a job yet; one that makes me money. I am, however, discovering my passions; passions that have been lying dormant for quite some time.

Should I make the yummy chocolate cake I told you about a day or so ago? I DO have the ingredients now. I don't need more calories and I bet the rest of Unemployed America doesn't either. But tonight I would really like to be able to express myself and blurt out those words of Marie: Let Them Eat Cake!

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