Wednesday, December 30, 2009


Being unemployed can be stressful.  I know, I know, those that are employed might respond to that statement with, "What the heck are you stressed about?  And how stressful can it possibly be sleeping in every day and wandering about picking lint off of your pants?"

Well, I can guarantee all those employed folks of the world that we unemployed have our share of stress responses going on within our seemingly relaxed existence.  Hopefully someone will begin to notice and take pitty on us and spoon-feed us a job.  Can you see that happening?  Me neither.

So what is this experience about?  I for one have found endless things to keep me busy.  And on top of that, as I've mentioned before, everyone else seems to think they need to keep me busy also. I don't know about you but I need a vacation from being unemployed.  Working for a living sounds much more relaxing and more profitable as well. 

Though I have wanted to create a new life for myself, it seems I always fall back into the same routine thought pattern of needing to hurry up and get a job; any job.  Sad though it is, the economy does not look promising and living in a commune-type setting is becoming more attractive to me as the days pass. Sharing can be beautiful, right?

Does anyone out there have any ideas for a new direction we can go?  How about a new industry that all of us can partake in?

Help!  I am unemployed and alone and somehow it seems like no one cares and I will live under the viaduct before someone does.  And at that point, they won't be able to find me because they won't know where to look!  I feel like I am planning for a trip.  Pack up the blankets, organize my clothes, scale down and get ready, is what goes through my mind on a daily basis.  Do you have these same plans going through your head?  Is it survial instinct taking over or am I simply going nuts?  Uh oh.  There is that word again; nuts.

Help us oh unemployment wizard!  We are floundering in a cataclysm of lost faith and sheer panic!  I do believe I will spin in circles until I fall down in a dizzy stupor and go to sleep.  Goodnight.

Friday, December 18, 2009

HOW COME MY DOG NEVER WIPES HER BUTT?...and other ponderences of my day

Seems I spend an awful lot of time lately, following my dog's butt around the park.  As a result I get a first hand opportunity to study her potty habits.  Armed with a pocket full of plastic doggie doo-doo bags, I take my position very seriously and document, if only in my mind, her behavior surrounding defecation. 

I've become a scientist of sorts, examining fecal matter for color, form and volume.  It speaks to my dog's health and as far as I can reckon so far, she's darn healthy; at least physically. 

Lately though, I've wondered about my dog's spirituality.  Where does she draw her strength?  To what does she attribute her great love of me, her affectionate nature and her ability to live in a continual state of bliss? 

Today as I prepared for my scientific expedition about the park grounds, I decided to take a closer look at my dog, her overall appearance and her specific attitudes pertaining to her time-outs for potty donations. It seems she never stops to wipe her butt after her routine dump.  Why is that?  I mean, I couldn't get away with that, could you? 

Sometimes I sit here, in my unemployed state and I think, 'hey girl, you need to get your shit together. You need a plan and you need one now.  You need to clean up your act.' But today while looking at my dog, I realized I don't have to clean up.  She doesn't and look who's riding around on her butt!

Keep the faith oh fellow unemployed ones.  Someone is watching over you whether you can see 'him' or not.  And don't be so hard on yourself.
Just play along with your day, make a mess, don't worry about cleaning up and see what happens.  It may be that the miracle you want is riding right along on your tail end, just waiting to be discovered. 

(for clarification, this is not my dog's butt but a borrowed image)

Thursday, December 17, 2009


Does time speed up or do we slow down when we're unemployed?  I don't know about you but I thought I just got done eating turkey.  Now it's time for Christmas and I don't have my shopping done.

Speaking of which, have you noticed the crap in the stores this year?  Seems when I was employed, everything was better quality.  Maybe I am justifying not spending by cheapening everything in my mind so that I can stay within my budget.  It's hard to say.

I became disgusted walking through the mall today.  All the silly, beeping plastic toys, blinking lights and cheap jewelry kiosks.  It made me sneer.  Am I a grinch?  I don't think so.  I simply find it pathetic what the holiday season has become.  A shopper's high pressured nightmare. Hurry, hurry!  Buy up all the chintzy crap before someone else does!

I'd be happy sitting home with my loved ones drinking a hot chocolate and playing a game of hillbilly scrabble.  Christmas has become so commercialized we don't even have time to celebrate it.  We're too busy consuming so that we can unwrap our presents in a rush and be on our way.  Ugh.

Let's start our own holiday.  The holiday of the unemployed.  No gift exchange.  No time schedule.  No big, fat ham for dinner.  No stress.  We'll cook up some grilled cheese sandwiches, put a pot of Campbells tomato soup on the stove, get out the jar of pickles and a can of Pepsi and ring in the season with a toast to simplicity. And take the time to hug each other and just 'be' in each other's presence.  Enough of the over spending on crap that will be shoved in the closet or spend years under the bed until it is donated to the thrift store.  It means nothing.

Love is something.  Love is free.  Love can be kept, given away, donated or it can be wrapped around you to keep you warm.  Love is the most versatile gift you can give. And nothing compares to the love that is felt when you spend time on those you love, not money.  So if you're on a budget this year, no worries.  Give them your presence, and don't worry about the presents.              

Wednesday, December 16, 2009


I'm too busy picking up the house and helping friends in need to go back to work!  What about you? 

It seems to me, being a volunteer would be a lovely way to make a living.  It's too bad it doesn't send you a paycheck in the mail. 

As I've mentioned before, employed or not, I seem to find plenty to fill my day.  So much so that I wonder how I ever had time to 'work' for a living. 

Sometimes things happen for a reason.  I think my reason for being unemployed is that there are a few people out there right now that need my help.  

I had considered volunteering previously but never quite got around to joining any one organization.  Why?  Because I can be a flake.  I didn't want to let anyone down. I figured I would join and then lose interest and not want to show up.  ARghh...I hate it when I am faced with those qualities in me that I would rather not acknowledge.

Somehow though, when the need is close to home, my flakes fly off into the distance and I become Steady Eddie, revved up and ready. I think we all may carry that quality to some degree. When a loved one needs you, it feels more real than someone you've never met.  It's just our human nature and the way our emotions work.  So I'll let myself off the hook and won't feel guilty for  being human.

Are you done picking up your house?  Have you organized your files, painted the kitchen and organized your closets?  Do you have a friend in need?  Brush off your flakey side and lend them a hand.  We have time, you and I.  And now is the time to give it to someone other than a corporation.  Don't you think? 

Monday, December 14, 2009


It's cold out.  The birds are hungry.  Take time out of your day to feed a bird.  Fill your feeders with seed and if you don't have a feeder, throw the seed out the window.  They'll find it.

Might I ad, that if I have to listen to my parrot quote May West one more time this morning, I am going to scream!  Although I find him entertaining, at times I wonder how he can sit within the confines of his cage and repeat the same phrase over and over and over until his bird voice is hoarse.

With that in mind, are we really all that unlike my seemingly stir crazy parrot?  Think about it.  When employed, we get up, go through our routine of getting showered, dressed and out the door.  We drive to our jobs and do the same thing, over and over and over......some of us, until our voices are plum worn out.  So my observation today is that given a set of circumstances such as being locked within the confines of four walls for any given amount of time, or within the same, ritualistic routine, we all start to repeat ourselves, over and over and over....until our voices and/or our spirits are just plain worn out.  I'm worn out just thinking about it.

But alas, there is 'hope.'  Hope for what, you ask?  Well, there's just hope.  There must be, because our president says so, right?  Therefore, it must be the case because within the confines of what I know, what he says, goes.  Mm-hm.

Define hope.  We all have our definition of what it means.  So think about yours.  Do you hope you will find a job within the same industry you were in before you became unemployed?  Do you hope that the economy will improve so that new and different jobs will be available?  Do you hope that you can finish your education before your benefits run out and you will hopefully land a position making more money than you did before?  What do you hope for?

I hope that I will win the lotto so I can play in the woods all day, write song lyrics and start a blog about living free.  That's what I hope for.  I hope that all those who are ill become fully alive and healthy.  I hope for the resiliency of the world's children.  Who knows what they will have to face in their lives.  I hope that love is true and not something we make up in our fantasies.  I hope that the world's sheep will wake up and stand up against their governments and refuse to fight.   I hope that it will snow another foot and we all will have neighborhood block parties with hot apple cider, children laughing and adults visiting. And I hope that in doing so, we all feel more alive as a result.  Not exhausted from our repetitive existence, our daily rituals and the 'hope' that our lives will 'change.'

I believe that though we at times become strained through repeating our actions over and over and over, there is something within the human psyche that requires an outline of daily behavior, in order to feel fulfilled.  It gives us a purpose.  What I 'hope' for is that soon we will wake up and define our purpose for ourselves; not allow the confines of what we currently know, keep us within the four walls that cause us to scream uncontrollably, as my parrot, until we are hoarse.  


Saturday, December 12, 2009


Do you ever wonder how the great discoverers of our time discovered their great find?  What did they have in mind when they set out on their journey?  Were they even on a journey to begin with?

Though being unemployed has placed me in a position to be open to discovery, I really have no idea what it will be that I discover or what form it will be in. And am I dedicated to finding out something about myself or do I even play an important role in what I am about to learn?

This week I have learned something new.  If we don't have a job, so to speak, we will create one with what comes natural to us.  It's not as though, as I previously thought, we have to come up with some complex business plan and develop some ingenious new idea that no one has thought of in order to create a new career for ourselves.  If we just move through each day and allow it to carry us in directions that feel natural without giving it much thought, we suddenly become furiously busy! Now, for the paycheck!

My discovery (which I really already knew about myself but my day job was hiding it) is that I love the outdoors, I love to be of service to others, I love to cook for people and I love my dog. I love to write, I love to spend time with my few special friends and I love to analyze the crap out of every behavior of everyone I know.  I find it thoroughly irritating on some level, why I cannot just hang loose and let it all be without dissecting everything and everyone but hey, it's who I am.

I'm not quite certain how I will create a job of the above interests.  Right now, I don't really care.  What matters is that I have made a discovery and that discovery is me.  Yes, me.  Me, me, me....all about me!  After all, it is me that is unemployed, me that desires a paycheck and me that is writing this ridiculous blog. 

What's your day showing you?  Are you in the fear mode?  Are you madly applying for jobs, scared to death your unemployment benefits will run out before you land another position?  Or are you allowing yourself to run a bit wild, wandering about, letting your whims carry you through the day and responding to your environment as it tosses little hurdles in your path?  It's up to you.  Give it a try.  Let go and trust that as a feather in the wind, you too will land upon a safe place.  But not before a lovely journey floating through the discoveries locked away, hidden by that once held 'day job.'

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Getting a Grip - Abundance is Yours!

Well, today is another day and a beautiful one at that.  Slumps can be a good thing when you are on the up side of climbing out of one. I liken it to being under water, out of air, and bursting up through the water, feeling the fresh oxygen rushing into my lungs.  There is hope! There is air!  I am alive! 

Speaking of which, let's get down to the heart of our situation.  Truly, being unemployed is not the worst thing that can happen.  Yes, it is stressful and challenging and there is an empty void of uncertainty ahead.  But if you look at life as a whole, every day is filled with uncertainty.  We don't know from one minute to the next if we will even be alive.  We just forget that while we get caught up in worrying about 'the little stuff.'

Looking off into the distance can become an obsession. We forget to see what is right in front of us and take each moment and savor it. Scrambling about, straining to see ahead, we worry ourselves into a frenzy.  Will I have enough money to pay the heat bill?  Will the sale on avacados still be going on by the time I get to the grocery store?  Is my true love out there somewhere?  Will my tires last another winter?  Why didn't the neighbor wave back at me today? 

Stop. Ask yourself what it takes to experience this life. What carries you through this physical existence where you get to drive yourself mad by letting your thoughts run you?

Your body.

You need your body so that you can continue this life experience, no matter what experience you choose to have.  So then why, pray tell, are you sitting around eating junk and feeling sorry for yourself while unemployed?

Use this time to get in the best possible shape that you can. You don't have to get ready for a triathalon.  Just get up and bundle up into the best cold weather clothes you can find, grab the dog or a friend or your alter-ego and head out the door!  Walk!  Walk and walk and walk.  And while you walk, look around you.  Every time you see something that is asthetically pleasing, send a thank you out to the world. Feel the muscles and tendons in your arms and legs and around your waist flexing as you walk.  Breathe deep.

While sitting around the house your body is alive, but treading water isn't the same as doing a full on breast stroke.  Give yourself a chance to experience something more than the mundane, the average, the O.K.  And know that the healthier and more vibrant your body is, the happier and more exciting your life experience will be! If all this is too overwhelming at this point then just add a gallon of water to your daily diet. Watch what happens! You'll be amazed. Because without our health, we have nothing. And with it, we have everything!


Monday, December 7, 2009

Loneliness and Other Symptoms of Needing Employment

Hanging out with the dog is getting old.  Though she is a valuable friend, it would be nice to have a response in English once in a while. 

Although being unemployed gives us plenty of free time to get those projects taken care of that we have put on the back burner for so long, it's sometimes difficult to get motivated with no one else there to bounce ideas off of, greet in the hallway or just hear in the background.  The silence can be deafening.

Thoughts have crossed my mind as to how all of the talented unemployed people of the nation can get together and create a company of their own.  And some kind soul who read this blog has mentioned it as well.  If that was the case, what kind of business would we embark on?  Does anyone have any ideas? 

I wonder if anyone is really out there, reading this.  There are a few comments now and then but sometimes I secretly wonder if it is my best friend, in her attempts to encourage me, hiding behind different screen names, dropping comments and voting now and then.  I suppose the daily challenge of self-entertainment has turned me semi-psychotic and paranoid.  After all, I did put mayonaise in my hair today hoping it would work as a conditioning agent. 

Hopefully, the sunshine will last and I won't die a slow, painful, unemployed death of light deprivation.  Living in the Northwest can be devastatingly depressing in the winter months. And I have made a strong effort to gain access to the light, every chance I get, and take the pooch out for a walk-jog-gasp for breath-stroll in the daytime hours.

With no words of encouragement, I am bloggette failure tonight, off to the couch to watch a rented movie, wish I had a nice warm meal in front of me that I am too lazy to cook and wonder if anyone else feels as isolated as I. 

Doom and Gloom............................Hurray for Unemployment...Somebody Save Me!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

My Dog Stinks and Other Issues of the Day

One thing that is noticeable about not being employed is that we still find things to fill our day right up until the time we go to bed. 

Dog walking has become a favorite past time of mine and I do it whether I want to or not.  Why? Because I am held accountable by the nibbling on my leg if it doesn't occur on time.  Thinking that today was going to be relaxing and slow, I meandered to the riverfront with the pupparoo and jogged and walked along the trail. Knowing that I can not keep up with a 20+ mile per hour sled dog, I released her from her leash and let her run wild. 

Dogs are sneaky.

I watched my stunning pet run to and fro and found myself narrating her behaviors.  "Ahhh...what a beautiful day!  Upf! Yee-hee, there goes a squirrel!  I'm running, I'm running...ah! Got an itch. (scratch, scratch, scratch) Mmmmm...what's that?  Smells nifty!  Oh!  Bowzer was here!  From the smell of it, he was just here seconds ago!  Better squat and pee so he knows I said 'hi.'  Oh, oh...oh God, I've gotta poop.  Yep, nope, yep, this looks like a good spot. Ahhh...much better..there's a bird! Oh..where's Mom..oh there she is...OH my Gosh! I know what that is...I smell it...yes I do. Uh huh...  A dead fish!  I have been wanting one of those!  Where is it? Where is it?? I can smell it...OH!  There it is.  (roll, roll, roll)  Oh the scent!  It is simply divine!  Ah..more, more! Ooooo...oooo...yee hee!  I wanna run now. Yup, I wanna run.  I smell like a fish! Run, run, run!  The breeze is fishy and I'm fishy and I am so happ.......Uh oh.  Mom looks very unhappy.  Yikes...better cower.  Not sure what I've done...uh oh...oh, she's pissed. She is not speaking well of me right now..............."

Today I was thinking I could learn from my dog.  They are so spontaneous and lively.  If they feel like doing something, they just do it.  They don't wonder if they can, they don't question their abilities.  They don't worry about what other dogs will think if they try something.  They just do it.  And they love themselves and everyone around them while they are doing what they do.  They live entirely in the moment. 

Which leads me to the moments leading to hours that I spent scrubbing this dog today in my attempts to remove the foul odor that she finds to be so delectable.  Bottles of vinegar, perfume, shampoo, conditioner and peppermint oil later...she still stinks! The added fragrance has her turning her nose up and rolling on the carpet in her attempts to uncover once again, an odor she enjoys.  To each their own.  You can't please everyone. Today she and I have both been successful at creating environments that the other does not like. Oddly, we are still in adoration of one another.

So if you find yourself wanting to roll in something new that everyone else says is a stinky idea, think about whether it makes you happy.  If it does, then roll away.  Try your new direction, roll in the stink, enjoy yourself and don't worry about anyone else.  My dog doesn't and I still love her.  So if you decide to put a halt to applying for office jobs or executive positions and the scent of being a sewer plant worker is calling your name, then do it!  Who cares?  We all love you no matter what and if you're happy we'll adjust.