Friday, September 10, 2010


What to do?  I've been unemployed for so long now, I have taken on a whole new identity.  What is my new identity?  I really have no idea.  I think, but I'm not certain, that I have become a sloth.  The only part of my existence that doesn't resemble a sloth, however, is that I don't find myself hanging around in trees. I need to re-think this.  

I thought that with all this time on my hands I would evolve into what I truly am, what I was meant to be, what I have dreamed of doing while I worked my corporate job.  Sure, I've baked several batches of designer, french cookies, developed more soup recipes, walked the dog through numerous parks and learned how to recover furniture. I've even grown a lovely container herb garden and numerous, well thought out flower pots. But what now?  How do I turn what I have become (part chef, part dog-walker, part container garden designer, part sloth) into a job that will bring me an income?  Has all this time off given me the answers?  I'm not sure. Why?  Because as usual I am confused. 

I feel like I have spun circles for almost two years so that I can come right back to my original state; confused.  Maybe this is what I was meant to be!  I am confused, therefore I am...confused.  I suppose I could create the Confusion Soup Company.  Although who in their right mind (most likely an unconfused one) would venture to eat soup created by a confused cook? On the other hand, maybe that's what would delight potential soup tasters. Spinning in circles of confusion is what I am.  I am a soup of interests at the mercy of the ever swirling spoon of society forcing me to blend and mix everything that I am to become something palatable to those who order me off the menu of worker bees.  And here I am, back to square one, confused and marketing myself in the spinning circle of unemployed workers.

I think it's time to take the bull by the horns, the spoon by the handle and create my own company. Something that combines all of the parts of me that I like to call my own.  Soup, Dog-Walking, Nature, and Container Gardens. What should I call it?  You tell me.  I'm open for suggestions. 

What are you up to with your time off?  What have you discovered about yourself?  Are you an artist? An organizer? A builder?  Maybe you too are part sloth.  No matter what we are, wherever we are, it is what is truly meant to be.  Trying to fit into someone else's mold never works.  Take this time and discover things about yourself that maybe you didn't know.  Or skip back to when you were a child and become that person again.  Because we are born in to who we are.  We just tend to forget.  

Sunday, August 15, 2010



I'm wondering if I have anything to offer the ever changing work force.  My reptilian brain has not been in use for some time now.  No schedules, no routine, nothing I HAVE to do by any certain time.

I have spent much time lately wandering around in a stupor of sorts, daydreaming, wishing, contemplating the blue of the sky, watering my herb garden and watching it grow with much delight.
The business side of my brain appears to be on hold; empty.

Time, as we see it, is 'running out' and so are the funds.  Shall I be homeless, living under the viaduct, as I have somewhat joked about in the past?  I'm doubting my ability to get an interview and wondering if I did get one if I could operate this thing I call a mouth.

Brain mush has set in.  Lack of use has put me in a bug-eyed stare, focused on nothing but my daydream of floating around on the deck of a large yacht. What are those winning lottery numbers, anyway?

Have YOU landed a job?  If so, please share.  The rest of us want to live vicariously through you and wish for a morsel of the positive!

If you are as I, unemployed still, let's sign up for volunteering this week AGAIN.  It gets us out there among the working instead of 'out there' among our daydreams and gives us grand opportunity to interact, network, have some fun and overall lift our spirits to a place where what we put out is a highly efficient and happy individual that will attract the right job offer.  After all, companies hire PEOPLE not resumes.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Spring has Sprung (almost) and so has My Wallet

Running out of cash? Not yet but in the near future?  Many people have unemployment benefits that have helped ease the financial pain of not working.  But those benefits are soon to run out. The impending doom is looming over our heads and threatening us with a new lifestyle; homeless, under the viaduct.  What now?

Saving money is impossible for most people in our situation.  In fact, there is not enough to cover the monthly living expenses as it is.  Finding ways to generate additional income and save a few pennies can be the difference between staying in our homes or being out on the street. Because as you know, a mortgage payment that is even a dollar short, is not accepted.  No partial payments allowed.  It's all or nothing. 

I'm wandering the house today, diving into closets, scrounging through pockets of clothing I haven't worn in a while, searching for coins and long forgotten dollar bills.  I'm reaching up into the cupboards and finding the change I have tossed into cups and lifting the cushions of my couch in hopes of finding a reward.  Next, I am off to clean my car.  Why not kill two birds with one stone?  Car seats and the floors under them can be gold mines of wealth when you need 'just one more dollar.' 

When I return from my car cleaning extravaganza I will embark on a more thorough assessment of the interior of my closets.  Certainly I can make $10 selling unwanted items that have been stored here for the last several years.  Additionally, why not clean up my environment in the process.  I will Fung Shui my surroundings to bring forth abundance!

Clean and Fresh!

The thought of spring is taking my attention outdoors.  The buds are forming on the trees, reminding me that soon the weather will be warmer.  Parallel to that event, my wallet will become close to empty and I may miss a few meals.  Scanning the flower beds for size, depth and location, the wheels in my head spin new ideas. 

With the money I am gathering from my 'easter egg hunt' throughout pockets, seats and cupboards, I am going to plant a vegetable garden. The savings on groceries will be substantial, my plate will feature organic foods and my health will most likely improve as a result! I might even lose a few pounds through the increased portions of vegetables. 

Let's continue to find new ways to save a few cents. "A penny saved is a penny earned," is what my Mother used to say.  And coming from the era of the Great Depression, I believe she had something there! 

Hiding Out

Being unemployed can certainly put us in a rut.  Staying home and scanning the internet for jobs can become the daily routine.  Though it is the modern day way of communicating with potential employers, it can be isolating and somewhat depressing.

Get out!

Keeping in mind that there is a world out there, make sure you take time to go explore it a bit while you're not working.  Go to the park, walk the dog, hang out at the coffee shop or go window shopping at the mall.  Art galleries, museums and plant nurseries are waiting for you. It will cheer you up, give you something else to focus on for a while, giving your mind a break.  And you might run into someone you know, or better yet, meet someone new.  Why is this important?  The more people you come in contact with every day, the more opportunities you have to network.  Strike up conversations.  While you're visiting, be sure to tell people you're looking for work.  You will be surprised at who might have a lead for you; a potential opportunity to become gainfully employed once again. 

Everyone out there knows someone who isn't working right now.  And everyone out there knows someone who is.  So find out where people ARE working and do a little research into these companies to see if you might fit in.  Better yet, see if these companies fit YOU. 

Though times are challenging, we need to be creative. The more ways you find to meet new people, the better your chances of hearing about the jobs that may not be advertised.  So get out there, go have fun and market yourself all day long!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Career Counseling - It is a God Send

Is the industry that you worked in laying off more workers? Do you find yourself wondering if you need to develop new or additional skills in order to gain employment once again?  You're not alone. 

Many people are coming to the conclusion that it may be a cold day in 'that place down there' before they are either rehired by the company they were layed off from or a new opportunity presents itself that their skill set can fill.

Is it time to think outside the box? 

Have you ever dreamed of a job that didn't fit society's mainstream idea of an acceptable way to make a living?  Have you ever wanted to open up your own fish bait store?  A second hand sink store?  A soup kitchen-laundry mat combo?  Maybe you want to act in commercials, fly into fishing lodges in remote locations and deliver singing telegrams or write a book about all the different species of slugs in the Pacific Northwest!

Today I hoofed it into the local community college.  I walked into the counseling office and created a student ID and signed in on the waiting list.  After 10 minutes or so, I was motioned into the office of a shockingly handsome man.  As I rambled on, darting here and there in my random manner,  I studied his face.  This person was actually listening to me and considering what I had to say.  Ahhh.  How refreshing!  I continued on and somehow arrived at why I was there.  "I don't know what to do."  He nodded calmly and replied that he sees many people in the same situation as I.  Surprise, surprise!  I am not the only person in the world who feels as though they have a dilemma on their hands. He understands me!!!!!!

He pushed me through a series of questions and statements to consider and together we arrived back at my dream.  "Follow Your Bliss" was the lesson of my half hour counseling session today.  "Follow Your Bliss" 

Take this time of unemployment to explore what you truly want.  Consider your values, your talents, your dreams and those activities where time passes before you while you, completely unaware, emerse yourself in a bath of slug categorizing or soup recipes.  Love what you do.  That is what is most important. The money WILL follow.  And take this time to speak with a college counselor.  It is free, it is valuable and it may set you on a course toward your dream, guilt free.  If nothing else, you might see something you would have never imagined!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010


It's been discovered that everything on our beautiful planet is essentially made up of the same DNA.  We are all connected in an intricate and complex way.  Knowing that, can I not have abundance if abundance is what I am made up of?  Does that mean I am everything and nothing existing all in the same space, at any given time in any given dimension?

Has unemployment sent me off the deep end? Or am I simply viewing things from a different perspective?  If I am the same in DNA as a rock or a tree, then maybe I should observe their behavior when facing the elements that get thrown at them throughout their existence.  The rock- it is solid and stable, rolling when pushed aside. The tree- it is solid and stable, bending when pushed by the force of the wind. 

I wonder, do I need to be more flexible?  Do I need to consider stepping out of my comfort zone?  Do I need to bend more or better yet, roll to another location? The wind certainly has been blowing lately and I must admit, my branches are a bit tattered from the constant beating.

What is your expertise?  Are you an expert in a field that seems to have no job openings?  Many of us are highly trained professionals with seemingly no job opportunities in our communities. We are stable and solid.  But I think it's time I and maybe you, let the wind push us to bend and roll a little.

A new location may be the answer.  Where is the industry that supports your profession flourising?  Is some research in order?  Are you an engineer, a green energy expert?  Look throughout the U.S.  What is going on?  Texas is a breeding ground for wind energy.  Have you thought of uprooting your tree and rolling your rock to a new location?  Think about it.  Sometimes new surroundings are just what the doctor ordered.  Especially if the guarantee of a great job awaits you!

Connect the dots.  Look at how you can attach yourself and your profession to what is shakin' and movin'.  We are made up of the same stuff, you and I, the same DNA. We can learn from observing the plants and animals and rocks in our environment. We walk by them every day as though they don't exist.  But like the spirit in the sky, they wait for us to acknowledge them and when we do, they provide us a gift, if only we ask.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

What's YOUR Worm Smokin?

Whoooo Are Yoooou?

Let's all smoke a doobie and figure it out!  Again the folks of the sixties; I don't know, I think they had something there.

Getting 'back on track' as I call it, I had this novel idea to go back to school and learn something brand new; something that would enable me to land a  stable, respectable, predictable and decent paying job.  Upon discussing my education options with a career counselor at the college, I felt encouraged.

Speaking with a friend this afternoon and relaying all that I had gathered in terms of requirements and information about my new found direction, he made a statement.  "That's a lot of work, a big commitment.  I would think you would have to be passionate about it if you are going to put all that effort forth."

On hearing his words, I paused.  I then spat out my thought process.  I started with the word security, followed by stable, followed by job opportunities followed by all the other logical reasons to go in this new direction.  Then I took a deep breath.  The next thing out of my mouth was, " I passionate about it? No."

So here I sit, pondering.  Should I or shouldn't I?  Is this an entire waste of my time?  I mean, should I just head back into corporate America and bite the greedy bullet of another sales job?  Ugh...WHAT now?  I dunno, I dunno, I DUNNO! 

Alice didn't know either.  In fact, she just wanted to know that she was going SOMEWHERE.  I think I might be in the same boat with her.  Now where is that hookah when I need it most?  I could take a trip and never leave home! 

Life decisions can be hard.  Being an American with all the choices available to us, it's almost criminal. I've never seen being middle-aged as a hurdle but knowing which way to go is.  I think it's time to wish upon a star....or is that follow the yellow brick road?  I'm not certain because honestly, I am just plain mixed up.

I want to know that when I get up in the morning my world is smokin' hot!  And I don't mean the funny green stuff.  We all need to be excited about what we do every day, without an 'organic' or chemical boost to the mood. Passion is important.  It is the basis of creation. 

What are you passionate about?  And what are you creating as a result?  I think it's back to square one for me.  Back to that original plan to create my life.  But first, I have to go on a trip to find my passions.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Hide -N- Seek............... the denial of adulthood reality

Did you ever keep hiding when your parents yelled across the neighborhood, telling you it was time to come in for the night?  Did you pretend you couldn't hear them?  Did you cover your face with your hands as they walked past you, hiding in the bushes?

This morning as my phone rang and the wind blew outside my door, I burrowed down deep under the covers and pretended I was 4.  "Don't find me yet Mommy, I'm not done hiding."

This afternoon I am living with the guilt of impersonating a child at the ripe age of 47.  I spent the morning hiding from my life, hiding from my responsibilities and hiding from the fact that I don't have a job.  My mind is going over excuses to relieve me of my burden.  I stayed up late.  I didn't sleep well the night before.  I deserve it.  Why not?  Who cares anyway?

I'm not certain but I don't think we were meant to hide from life.  Although it seems that many of us do, on occasion.  Why can't we discipline ourselves when Mommy isn't there to tell us what to do next?  Are we all weak willed and childish?

What is the solution?  While employed I was on time for work, did my job and made Mommy proud.  But without her here telling me that I don't get dessert if I don't get out of bed, I just lay here prone and.....well, I just rebel against the thought of her.

Deep down inside of us all a child still resides.  We want to play, we want to be comforted and we want to feel safe.  This morning, I took care of my child.  I'm not certain it did my adult too much good but overall I don't think too much harm was done.  Letting your child get away with a play day is not all bad. In fact it can be a nice break.  We all need to be relieved of our responsibilities once in a while.  And we all can benefit from a make believe party.

Just don't let your child take over the role of commander on a permanent basis.  If you do, your life will run a muck, you will live in squalor and your adult will become terribly critical.  Your child will then be beaten to a pulp and left in the closet for days on end with nothing to sustain it.  The cycle will perpetuate itself and your peace of mind will cease to exist.

Keep things in balance, provide some structure.  Reward your child for behaving like a grown up.  It will benefit you both in the long run.   

Oh Go Stick It Up Your Nose!

The other day a friend of mine told me that upon reading one of my blog entries, she sprayed Coke (as in cola) out of her nose.  It brightens my day to know that I have brought on a sudden burst of the giggles to one of my readers.  In fact, it simply makes me feel divine.  On the other hand, if one's nose is clogged, there are easier ways to clear the sinuses than inhaling Cola.

Ever seen a Neti-Pot?  The image above is just that.  You simply mix a light, salt water solution in the pot, tip your head over to one side and 'stick it up your nose!'  Breathing through your mouth, or preferably humming to keep from feeling as though you are drowning, you allow the water to run through your sinuses.

Upon using my Neti-Pot for the first time, I came to the realization that my nose was just like that of a goose.  I recall, as a child, slipping a blade of grass into the nostril of a goose and giggling at the fact that it came out the other side.  There was our pet goose, running around with piece of grass horizontally wedged in its nose.
Low and behold while pouring the water into my nostril with the Neti-Pot, it ran through my sinuses and out the other nostril! Thankfully, I reached adulthood before learning this anatomy lesson.  I may have sucked a few blades of grass if I'd known it as a kid.

Using these pots is a good way to maintain sinus health throughout the year.  It clears all the impurities that we inhale on a daily basis.  Further, it is rumored you can avoid becoming ill from viruses as a result of its regular use. So if sinus health is your goal, don't breathe cola.  Just get a Neti-Pot and 'stick it up your nose.'

Friday, January 15, 2010

Life As A Sponge

Sometimes there is just too much information.  Too many options.  Too many opinions to consider.  The overload of data sends the synopsis of my brain into a chaotic freeway of sorts.  Soon the stimulus becomes overwhelming and I simply swell from the electrical traffic jam occurring inside of me. Would someone just wring me out please? 

It's delightful to feel as though you have come to a solid conclusion regarding a new and different career path.  You've taken into consideration the economy, your interests, your life's mission and contemplated income and time requirements. Determining the cost for education and the pay off at its completion, you arrive at a decision; an actual decision! Then you step out to gather more data and opinions from the pros.  OUCH!  The market is flooded with new graduates!  What now?  Full of enthusiasm to mask my overloaded neuron pathways, I was just about to turn onto the freeway of societal norm; an accepted road to financial security.

Is this the universe telling me to stop?  Am I being guided back to my original far-fetched plans?  Is someone telling me to quit being practical and stop thinking about the paycheck and tradition?  Am I to once again, float off into a creative world of make believe and attempt to entertain others as I carry them along with me?  

Or maybe I was just meant to put my hyper-absorbed gray matter to domestic use. Why not get practical during a time of utter confusion and internal disarray?

When in doubt, shift gears and clean house!  Squeeze out some of the dirty water and improve your living environment in the process. 

Questioning this week's practical conclusions in terms of career, I am once again at square one.  Do I want it that bad?  Can I compete with a flooded market?  Of course I can.  I am ingenious, to say the least.

But too many hurdles and road blocks are life's way of telling us to take another route. There may be something we need to see along the way.  Something we refuse to look at while taking the highly traveled interstates; the roads that have been mapped out for us.

Traveling the same streets day after day, we become blind to other options.  This is the way it's always been done.  This is what everyone else does.  Therefore, it is what I will do.  Without considering that there may be something else out there, something we've never experienced, something we may have never been able to dream up on our own, we merge onto the career highway, set our signal and move into the middle lane.  Setting our cruise control, we feel safe.  Based on current conditions, we will arrive at our destination, unscathed and 'on time.'  Why look around?  Everything is as it 'should' be.

Today I ran into some unexpected road construction.  I can sit through it, along with the rest of the commutors, or take the nearest exit off the freeway of tradition and come up with an idea for a detour and once again go about creating my own path. Better yet, set my signal and let my heart guide me the rest of the way. 

Somehow there is a discovery I have yet to make.  Something new, something I never could have dreamed of.  I'm turning off onto a dirt road now; one that no one ever dares to drive on.  I wonder what I will find......................

Monday, January 11, 2010

Chef Boyardee and Other Thrills of Living Unemployed

The acidic nature of ravioli has left me with indigestion and I sit here in wonderment.  What happend to my 'get healthy regime?' 

I'm not sure about you but unemployment simply slows one down.  Taking a leisurely bath, putting my makeup on at just above an idle and putzing around the house can take up an entire day!  Of course I can't exercise this week!  I'm too busy counting the raindrops and taking naps.  Besides, I have the flu!  Is it the swine, you ask?  Who the (snort) heck knows. What I do know is I might as well apply at Comcast because I could be a relative of the Slowskys.  I'm too slow, too unemployed and too lazy to cook.  Eating out of a can and pulling the covers over my head again sounds just fine to me. 

What happened to that energetic, ever-positive blond who was going to go forth and take a hold of her life?  This week?  She just doesn't want to participate.  Not in any of it.  Sorry, checked out, on vacation, out of the office, will return after lunch.  And lunch could take days. 

It must be the weather.  Rain always gives me that SAD thing they talk about on TV.  So sad am I that I slept till 11am AND took a nap today.  What is the answer?

I believe I will schedule some time to lay quietly and show gratitude and thanks for all the good in my life.  Every little thing.  Our minds, they are simply computers.  And if we allow them to control us, who knows what websites they will visit.  So let's take charge.  Yes, it's winter and it's cold and it's dark and we still have roofs over our heads.  Lay quietly.  Think of everyone and every thing that is given to you every day that you take for granted.  It is amazing that we even find a single thing to complain about, isn't it?  And if eating ravioli is the worst thing that happens to me, isn't my life all but charmed? 

Put up your umbrella and walk in the rain.  You may see what you never would have and experience something that may have been hidden from you if you'd stayed inside and napped on the couch all day.  And if you jump in a puddle or two, you may disturb the reflection that you thought might never change.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


It's a new year and let's make it a great one!  Have you been wanting to accomplish some wonderous thing, your entire life, but have never gathered up your insecurities and placed them on the shelf so you have room to pursue your dream?  Well now is the time to take action.  Why?  Because the moon is blue this month!' 

Let's pursue that special dream this year; the one we have put aside for so long.  You know what it is, I know what it is.  Let's do it!  Life is short, being unemployed gives us extra time on our hands.  We've already cleaned the cupboards and had the garage sale so let's go after that dream!  Let's take action, feel it in our hearts, motion it to take over our days.  Now is the time to do it.  It's 2010!  Celebrate this year.  Celebrate that you have what it takes.  Put your doubts on the shelf and run with your goal in your heart.  And don't forget to enjoy the process!


Monday, January 4, 2010

Ever Feel Like A Failure?

Ever feel like a failure?  Do you feel beat up, frowned upon, rejected?  Me too. 

Every now and then someone takes the time to comment on my blog and tell me how rotten it is, how tacky it is and how untalented I am.  They tell me I just need to give up the idea of writing. I am simply a waste of paper and ink.  Or in this case, web space.

I go through a series of emotions ranging from shocked to hurt to embarrassed to resolve and then back to embarrassed again.  I am embarrassed that I ever thought I could entertain anyone with my prose, embarrassed that I think I am clever and embarrassed that I think that someone else's day might be lit up for a few moments as a result of reading my stories.

Maybe I SHOULD become a nurse or some other left-brained activity that requires scientific and mathematical ability.  Better yet, a mechanic!  I would have a skill that all could benefit from.  But the fact is, I'm not that.  And if I'm not that and I am not a writer, what am I?  A loser.  I have nothing to contribute to the world.  I don't make a difference.  I think I'll eat some worms.

Bed is sounding good right now.  A warm blanket, some soft music and my bed.  I am a nobody with nothing to contribute of any value and I am at the bottom of the creative food chain.  Soon I will perish because the only reason I incarnated into this life was to share my humor and love.  Sadly, no one wants it.

On the other hand, isn't tasteless and tacky a form of art?  I mean, obviously I don't feel that my 'butt wiping' blog was content to be read at Grandmother's funeral for heaven's sake.  Crude, delicious and just plain disgusting to the point where you have to laugh is exactly as I intended it.  And if some of the people reading don't have a zany sense of humor, well, the hell with them because the rest of us, we love to cackle in the squalor of tacky, poop induced humor.

My worm doesn't write very well but he's telling ya'll to have some manners.  And if you're going to critique someone else's writing, then use kindness and have a heart about it.  All of us folks without jobs, we are sensitive and feeling vulnerable right now.  What we need is encouragement and if you think we are headed in the wrong direction, suggest the one you think we should go toward.  Like maybe I should try out for working the waste management toll booth.

Hang in there everyone.  Don't let the unhappy folks of the world bring you down.  If you have a dream, then go for it.  After all, Fred Astaire was told he couldn't dance.