Monday, January 18, 2010

Hide -N- Seek............... the denial of adulthood reality

Did you ever keep hiding when your parents yelled across the neighborhood, telling you it was time to come in for the night?  Did you pretend you couldn't hear them?  Did you cover your face with your hands as they walked past you, hiding in the bushes?

This morning as my phone rang and the wind blew outside my door, I burrowed down deep under the covers and pretended I was 4.  "Don't find me yet Mommy, I'm not done hiding."

This afternoon I am living with the guilt of impersonating a child at the ripe age of 47.  I spent the morning hiding from my life, hiding from my responsibilities and hiding from the fact that I don't have a job.  My mind is going over excuses to relieve me of my burden.  I stayed up late.  I didn't sleep well the night before.  I deserve it.  Why not?  Who cares anyway?

I'm not certain but I don't think we were meant to hide from life.  Although it seems that many of us do, on occasion.  Why can't we discipline ourselves when Mommy isn't there to tell us what to do next?  Are we all weak willed and childish?

What is the solution?  While employed I was on time for work, did my job and made Mommy proud.  But without her here telling me that I don't get dessert if I don't get out of bed, I just lay here prone and.....well, I just rebel against the thought of her.

Deep down inside of us all a child still resides.  We want to play, we want to be comforted and we want to feel safe.  This morning, I took care of my child.  I'm not certain it did my adult too much good but overall I don't think too much harm was done.  Letting your child get away with a play day is not all bad. In fact it can be a nice break.  We all need to be relieved of our responsibilities once in a while.  And we all can benefit from a make believe party.

Just don't let your child take over the role of commander on a permanent basis.  If you do, your life will run a muck, you will live in squalor and your adult will become terribly critical.  Your child will then be beaten to a pulp and left in the closet for days on end with nothing to sustain it.  The cycle will perpetuate itself and your peace of mind will cease to exist.

Keep things in balance, provide some structure.  Reward your child for behaving like a grown up.  It will benefit you both in the long run.   

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