Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Daydreams-Nature's Preservatives for Sanity

I'm not sure I was created with sound mind. In fact, some would beg to differ if another labeled me 'normal.' Either way, my daydreams have prevented me, on many occasion, from throwing myself from a 5 story building.
As I sit here now, comfortable, the dog at my feet, my hair in a towel with the cool morning air coming through the door, I recall my days at a well known national company. Sitting in corporate Monday morning meetings, breathing in the foul odor of desperate pleas from management masked as demands and quotas, was enough to send me off into my own personal little happy place. "What? You made your quota? We were just kidding. It's actually three times the number you just achieved."
The muscles in my eyes would suddenly become immobile and I would take on the persona of a deer in the headlights. Frozen in time, my breathing shallow, I could feel the cells in my body dying off at an alarming rate. My soul screaming for oxygen, I would tell myself to just make it through this day, no this hour, wait! The next 60 seconds. Saved only by the heavy sigh of my blond partner in crime sitting next to me, my neck would make a sudden jerk toward the window and I would become fixated on the mountains off in the distance. I would imagine myself, all alone, in a fire lookout tower, bathed in silence. The chipmunks were bustling about, devouring the scattered crumbs I had tossed on the ground for them and the humming birds were buzzing around the feeder. My daily friend, a lone mountain goat. Fresh, crisp mountain air!
Throughout my dazed dreaming I would catch the mumblings of said blond friend; something about a Paris apartment and a pink poodle. She was off wandering in another of her French stupors while I roamed the mountainside. Now and again we'd come back to an accepted form of consciousness just long enough to comment on some presenter's fashion infraction or the observance of the CEO's Botox gone bad.
What else did I dream of while sitting amidst the company sheep? Ahhh...sitting in front of my computer, feeling the morning breeze, my dog at my feet; writing. Here I am! A dream come true! What do my daydreams entail now? I find myself not relying on them much. When I do succumb to them , it is not for an escape but just a fun place to visit. A place to create something new I would like to bring into my life. Most of all, I am thankful that when I needed them most, they preserved what sanity I had left.

No comments: