Friday, November 13, 2009

Feeling Kind of Down? Maybe We're Not Good Enough........

Sometimes going in a different direction can bring on feelings of apprehension and uncertainty.  An idea wrapped in enthusiasm and excitement can lose its initial glow, flickering down to a minute pile of glowing embers, tucked away in the corner of our minds. Our attitude can spiral down till all we can see in front of us is the ground.

Today I was meandering around, painting walls and cleaning a few cupboards, not too enthused about anything much.  I decided to check my email and upon opening one in particular I found a message from a friend.  Not just any friend, mind you, but a life long friend.  Her message indicated that she was struggling through her work day, reaching for something to give her the strength to continue on; my daily (which has become not so daily) blog. I got a visual of her crawling through the desert, clawing at the air, handfuls of sand trickling from her sun-burned fingers, a look of desperation on her flushed face. She stated she could not go on any further without reading the message of my daily blog, of which I had not yet written.

I haven't written in a few days.  My enthusiasm took a down turn and I doubted my ability; my ability to write, my ability to entertain and my ability to inspire.  So I had just let my ideas burn down into a small pile of embers in my mind, glowing a bit but certainly not lighting me up. Not my usual perky self, I had been feeling a bit down.  Because as far as I am concerned and to my knowledge, my musings are not changing anyone's life for the better.

We all need inspiration once in a while.  Even those of us who are working to inspire others.  Feeling down can be a real drag. When you're moving in a new direction in life, having a day of the sags can really be frightening.  The doubts that fill your mind can be overwhelming.  "Maybe I'm past my prime.  Maybe there's no hope for me.  Maybe I never had it to begin with.  Maybe I should just conform again.  Because maybe no one will like what I do."

Though my friend would support and encourage anything I decided to embark on, crazy or not, my doubts perked up and lifted when I saw her email.  Someone needs me!  I make a difference!  I communicate, I inspire!  Looking straight ahead and seeing nothing but my dream, I rushed to complete my domestic tasks and dog-walking so that I could plant myself at the computer and do what I love; write!

So when you don't think you can make it even one more step in the direction you are moving and everything seems a dull, lifeless shade of poi, remember: Whatever your purpose,  keep feeling it in your heart.  It is the sensations from living our goals, not achieving them, that brings us life.

And though it may seem like what you do doesn't make a difference, think again.  Someone out there is relying on you to fulfill their day. 

1 comment:

kyle said...

Hi - I live in Seattle and I too, am unemployed. I really appreciate your blog and the feelings you write about here. I just hit nine and a half amounts outta work and sometimes I definitely am going crazy. Your blog is a comfort to me when I read it - it makes me feel not quite so alone.


p.s. All of us 17% outta-workers need to stick together. We need to find a way to organize and start our own damn company and hire only other 17%ers!